a distant memory

back in the tdot

it's hard to believe that a week ago i was on vacation.

i came back exhausted, after not sleeping much thursday night. it was no one's fault but my own. i just was wired and stressing about things out of my control. work. life. both. sheesh.

friday was a nice day though. grandma and i enjoyed going to her local farmer's market. we picked up her week's supply of veggies and fruit. i surprised her with a beautiful bouquet of flowers that looked like they were grown in someone's garden, not a big commercial operation. after lunch we just sat around chatting. it was a nice way to end my trip.

the airport was nearly empty when i got there -- flights to the midwest had been cancelled. so i picked up some magazines and chilled out.

the plane was that nifty 16-seater beechwood that flew me down. what a piece of crap! this time i was prepared with foam earplugs so i just kept reading until we touched down. it was only then that i looked around and realized that i was the only female on the entire plane. weird.

i was pooped on saturday but really didn't have a chance to sleep in. took a pseudo-nap. pulled myself together to go to dinner at some friends' condo, but really wasn't up for it. sunday had a meeting for our neighbourhood association. lots of bs going on there that i don't even want to write about. and yes, it is a cause of some of my stress. put it this way, i'm glad i have the easiest job on the board.

and monday came along and it's been non-stop go-go-go since. i misjudged how long it would take me to do something. but then my planning got all screwed up anyway with "emergencies" and i had to work late yesterday.

so seriously, my week off is a long-gone distant memory. i am really burnt and grumpy. not exactly ideal.

at least today is a good air quality day. the sky is blue and it's not as humid and hot as it's been. maybe this afternoon will go better. i could really use a good solid afternoon of uninterrupted working...

doing girl stuff

still in york, pa

I guess the old girl is wearing me out too. I snoozed my alarm this morning when it went off at 7 and woke up around 7:30. I had only been up for about 15 minutes (started the coffee, got the paper and was watching Good Morning America or is it God Bless America?) when Grandma came out.

She was a little worked up because she forgot she had a hair appointment at 9:30 and only remembered when she was combing her hair. No biggie – all I did was take a shower quicker, get dressed a little faster and gobble down my cherrios.

Today was our day of girly fun – first the beauty salon where I read Martha Stewart, Lucky and Brides while I waited for Grandma's wash and set to be done. That was fine with me – now I know what magazines not to buy for the plane home tomorrow.

Then we went to the local mall. It's not all that great, but Grandma only likes the big department store anyway. So we shopped at the Bon-Ton for about an hour. Of course, I bought more stuff than she did – a skirt and a shirt. She got a shirt.

So far on this trip I've bought: 2 pairs of sneakers, a skirt, 2 t-shirts, a tank top, a blazer, a dressier tank top. Not bad for only shopping a few hours.

Then we went to lunch. Grandma gets embarrassed when people read her the menu and wanted me to just pick the first thing that sounded good for her, but I told her I had never been to the restaurant so I wanted to read the whole thing. We ended up having a chicken salad special – the whole big salad thing is really new to Grandma. She had never seen anything like that and not being the biggest fan of baby greens, brought half home.

The service at the restaurant frustrated her – like little kids, senior seniors need to get their food fast. And staying on schedule is really important. Still she had fun. More than anything she loves to eat out.

Grandma was getting tired, but wanted to return her books on tape to the library. So after lunch off we went. Her friend was working there so we had a little bit of socializing time. I found a bunch of books on tape that I thought she'd like. She settled on two – the first Harry Potter and Tuesdays with Morrie.

She thought Harry Potter might be fun so she'd know what all the fuss is about and be able to talk to her great-grandson about it. I thought she might enjoy Tuesdays with Morrie. I did. Maybe after reading it, she'll understand I like to hang out with her.

When we got back, she insisted that I do my laundry so I didn't take back dirty clothes. I made her split pea soup to put in her freezer for those days when she doesn't feel like cooking and cleaned vegetables for her while she napped.

Later in the afternoon Grandma put me to work fixing little things around her house. Plugging stuff in that she couldn't reach, cleaning things, changing the time on clocks, finding "lost" things, etc.

Afterwards, she decided to give me an angel music box that she got in Lucerne, Switzerland on a vacation with my grandpa. She said it was because I was like her angel and she wanted me to know how much she appreciated my visit. She had been thinking all week of what she could give me to take back with me as a souvenir and decided last night when she was lying in bed that it would be the best thing.

She's been complaining that I am waiting on her too much so I stayed out of the kitchen and let her make dinner on her own. I would have cleaned everything up, but the husband called.

Grandma has a really hard time with all the phone calls the husband makes. She doesn't really understand that it doesn't really us cost all that much and we started our relationship via phone so it's a real comfort to both of us to chat on the phone. Whatever. I'm going home tomorrow so he won't be calling any longer.

Maybe the real problem is that she has a really hard time with the phone. Tuesday night she hung up on me when I called her from Panera Bakery asking her about my cousin's address. Today the lady that helps her with cleaning called and she almost hung up on her too.

I don't think the hearing aids really work very well with the phone. She really needs to take one out as soon as the phone starts ringing so she's prepared to talk to and understand the person who's calling. And she needs to get another big button amplified phone for her bedroom. I'll tell the parents and see what they can do about it.

After dinner, I went out to Target to pick up a few things and Panera Bakery again to check email (lots! and lots of work to come next week!). When I got back, she was freaking out because it was getting dark. I reminded her that I often drive in the dark, I parked in a well lit area, etc. I had also told her I'd be back in an hour and a half and I was actually back a little bit early. Again, whatever. It's one of those things.

Then the phone calls started. First, my DC cousin called. We had a nice chat and she'll be visiting in the next few months. Then my DC aunt called. She's coming up to Muskoka with a friend and might be doing a drive-by.

We went to bed around 11. I packed first and got organized for tomorrow. The less commotion I make about leaving the less depressed she'll be.

closed, sick, tired, thrilled with $3.41

back in york, pa

Today started out uneventful enough. Get up, coffee, read the paper (it's a really bad one), breakfast. A little housework. Some weeding. Made lunch for Grandma and myself.

Our plan for the day was to go to the library, visit a friend at a nursing home in Lancaster, then go to my cousins' house for dinner.

First, Grandma got really irritated when i asked her if the library was open today before we left. So she was even more irritated to learn that the library was closed due to government cut backs. (We'll go back there tomorrow.)

Then, when we got to her friend's nursing home, which by the way, was a mr toad's wild ride of a navigation adventure. At one point i reminded grandma that i had no idea where we were going because i had never been there. Luckily i managed to get us there in one piece.

Unfortunately, when we got there Grandma wasn't too happy with what she saw. Her friend was not up or dressed – she was in bed, had oxygen tubes in her nose and was very sick. Turns out she was on antibiotics, recovering from pneumonia – and she's been sick for about 2 weeks. The latest part of being sick was refusing to eat.

Grandma had been trying to call her for the past couple of days, but only trying her bedside phone. I asked her if she wanted to call the front desk or nurse's station but she said no. So seeing her friend so sick was quite upsetting.

Her friend perked up a bit once we started talking and seemed to be a bit livelier by the time we left. She told me i looked heavier than the last time she saw me (I was about 25 at the time) and called me a gold digger since she liked my wedding and engagement rings. I got her to eat a little ice cream, ½ of an animal cracker and she drank some water, ice tea and ensure.

Also turns out that the phone wasn't working. I put the plug back in the jack and talked to the front desk people about fixing the jack since it was so loose. By the time we left, Grandma was feeling pretty upset.

So then, we drove to my cousins' – another place that Grandma hasn't been too many times and really doesn't know how to get there. I had directions so i just drove.

I had a great time there. I talked to my cousin's wife, played with his two little boys, chatted with my cousin who's in the navy and had a good old time.

The little boys were tickled that i brought them each a tooney, a looney, a quarter, a dime, a nickel and a penny (that's $3.41) and a baggie of swedish fish. They really enjoyed learning about he coins – they may be coming with their new baby brother or sister next summer.

As the evening progressed i could see 1) grandma was tired, 2) grandma was having trouble hearing what was going on, and 3) grandma was upset with my cousin who's in the navy – his talk about partying, a new tattoo (he already is the most decorated member of the family with his five tattoos) and smoking wasn't working for her at all.

But she enjoyed the company, seeing her great-grandchildren and eating a nice meal. One of the great-grandchildren entertained us by playing the piano and singing the solo he's singing in church this Sunday. We took plenty of photos and I've already downloaded them and added them to the book i'm making for her.

I know Grandma also enjoyed the homemade blueberry pie and the treats that my cousin packed up for her – freshly picked blueberries, zucchini bread and a zucchini.

We had a nice chat in the car, made good time getting home and got here by 9:30. Grandma went to bed, I talked to the husband, who is having a hard time with me being away. The bulldog seems to be pretty happy about it – she's slumbering peacefully in my spot.

amateur dentist

still in York, PA

Holy crap, did i just have a scare.

Grandma and I went to bed around 10:45. I was tidying up and organizing my clean vs dirty vs just purchased clothes and deciding which magazines to bring to my cousin tomorrow when grandma started knocking on the door saying, "I've done something stupid and I need help."

She wasn't kidding.

Although Grandma has a plate on top, she has pretty much a full set of her own bottom teeth. Of course, her dentist told her flossing is the only way to keep them. Grandma listens to her dentist which is fine, except Grandma is thrifty and there was a small piece of dental floss left…

Yep, the small piece wedged itself in between two side teeth. And since she can't see too well, she was having a heck of a time on her own.

So time to play amateur dentist and figure out how to help grandma out. I'm not the best person with medical emergencies – ask the husband. And I never in a million years wanted to be a dentist. Ever. Gross.

But when i realized that the piece was too small and slippery to pull out, toothpicks weren't helping to push it up, water wasn't loosening it and it was too late to call my friend the dentist for advice, i remembered that i had a pair of illegally-smuggled-on-the-plane-into-the-US blunt tweezers in my makeup bag.

The tweezers did the trick. And now Grandma is saying her prayers.

Me too. I'm thanking God that we didn't have to go to the emergency room because grandma got herself all upset and sent her blood pressure skyrocketing (she's been telling me plenty of blood pressure stories). Or stay up all night trying to figure out a solution. (I still might be up all night; I'm all keyed up now.)

Not sure this is a great story to tell around the dinner table. But i have a feeling both the husband and my friend the dentist will get a kick out of it.

Hopefully if Grandma tells her daughters, they will have a sense of humour about it and not completely freak out.

"rest day"

in york, pa

Today is Grandma's best day yet. when she woke up (I was up by 6:30 since my body keeps expecting that I need to go to work), I had breakfast all set up and ready to go so she was thrilled. We ate outside on her porch.

During breakfast she announced that she wanted to do a few things on her rest day but we weren't going all crazy and running around like we had since Sunday. She had a good night's sleep but didn't want to over do it.

First, we went to the cemetery so i could see where Grandpa's buried and where her final resting place will be. She explained again that she is not a fan of cemeteries and that visiting the grave really doesn't do much for her. Me neither. She also doesn't like the whole flowers on the grave thing – she's rather plant them in her yard.

Next we went to the York Blind Center. With me here, she said she'd feel better examining the newest devices to help her see better. So we tested out a number of new magnifying machines and she was so pleased that she could see the newspaper a lot better with them. The machine she liked had a colour monitor, automatically focused and allowed you to change the background colours. Her current monitor doesn't do any of those things. I think she is considering purchasing the new monitor, but she will probably consult her daughters when they get back from their trip.

But what pleased her the most is a pair of adjustable magnifying glasses.

As soon as we got home and ate lunch, she tested out the glasses. For $75 she can now watch tv and see the colours and the people's faces as well as the type on the screen. For the last few months her vision has been decreasing and she has not been able to get as much enjoyment out of the tv as she had in the past. Now she will be able to watch the all-star baseball game, football and programs with more than one person in them.

She also tested her new glasses at the piano. She can read the words on her large print "What a friend I have in Jesus" but not see the notes. I think I'm going to take the pages when I go out and see what I can do to enlarge them. It would tickle her to be able to play the piano again.

Finally on our excursion, we went to Stauffer's Cookie Factory Outlet so she could get some treats for her best friend (tomorrow we're visiting her at her nursing home). I got Pixie Stix for the crew back at the office and some gummy fish for my cousin's kids (i'm also going pick up hotwheels cars for each of them) we'll see tomorrow.

For someone who is 90 she is so fast around stores when she knows what she's looking for. Unfortunately, Stauffers is an outlet so they have different stuff every time (they make things for Trader Joes and other stores) and she was getting a bit frustrated. And I think she was a bit tired too. Anyway, we got everything we were looking for and then because we spent over $5 we each got a free pack of cookies. Well, that tickled her for sure.

During lunch we had a nice chat. She's a lot happier. She found a solution to her tv watching problem and she knows there is a better monitor out there to help her read her mail, the paper and the bible.

So she's going to spend the rest of the day at home, talking to her friends, reading the paper, resting. I'm not resting -- going out to do a little shopping and a little searching for the things she wants (beige purse, longer sleeved short sleeved tops) as well as check my email. It's a nice break for both of us, especially since she has another action-packed day planned tomorrow...

thelma and louise?

grandma and i are having tons of fun. we're off in the wilds of central PA, across the street from bucknell university (a beautiful campus) at a best western tonight. we look just like thelma and louise, cruising the streets in our silver malibumax -- ha!

(all of the people we're visiting with think I must be "real well off" to be driving such a fancy car. good thing I didn't bring either of our cars.)

we are enjoying each other's company. grandma is telling plenty of stories and remembering all sorts of stuff about her childhood, her family and her friends.

i'm annoying the crap out of her by photographing her with landmarks and people. of course i'm going to make her a little photo album when i get home!

grandma seems much, much happier today. i think she's enjoyed chatting with her friends and family, catching up and feeling like she's a lot younger than 90.

however, poor Grandma is absolutely exhausted -- we've been on the go since 8:30 or so starting with church (no, the roof is still intact), sunday dinner at the country cupboard (tons of bluehairs chowing down on turkey dinners), visiting friends in "personal care homes" and then over to my great aunt's house for dinner. i'm enjoying the fine WiFi setup at the hotel, but out of courtesy, i'm going to shut down so she can go to sleep.

oops, too late, i can already hear her snoring.

tomorrow we're making more visits here, then heading back to her house, but stopping on the way to visit another great aunt. tuesday is grandma's rest day.

a better day…in other words

york, pa

grandma seems much happier and more lively today. she's using her favourite phrase, "in other words" pretty much constantly. that's how I know she's doing better.

we had a nice breakfast on her screened in porch. while we were eating, she received a phone call from her sister-in-law who lives two hours away. after their chat, she announced that tomorrow after we go to church, we're definitely going to visit her relatives and friends who are two hours away.

so i called a hotel and made reservations for us. then we went out to do errands. she was very happy with our shopping since i read prices to her and found everything quickly, even though I hadn't been to the stores for a very long time.

we've spent a lot of time eating and talking today. i'm definitely eating healthier and smaller meals. right now i'm starving, mostly because we ate at 5:30! oh well, it's gonna be a great way to lose a little weight and detoxify my system.

grandma's been telling me lots of stories, some of which i've heard before, some which are completely new. it's pretty neat to be here and have so much access to her.

she's also been giving me her opinions on many things. the political stuff, well, I just let her talk even though i definitely don't agree with her political viewpoints. the religious stuff, well, it's so important to her. again, I don't agree that christianity is the only way to go, but it makes her very, very happy.

and grandma spent a little time sleeping. i chatted with my cousin who's in the navy and my other cousin who we'll visit on wednesday. and i read a bunch of magazines. it was nice to have a relaxing afternoon.

right now, grandma is calling friends that she wants to visit. they're surprised – and delighted – that she is coming to visit. and so is she.

the week begins

in york, pa

so maybe i really romanticized what a week with grandma really would be like. i think she's happy that I'm here. but so far, i know she's still really depressed about my uncle's death – just like she's' been since march. even obsessively so. she has a real knack for being able to link pretty much anything i say back to it. and she is certainly dwelling on the what ifs.

well, there's not much point to that. unfortunately, the man is dead. nothing, not wishing, not hoping, not what-ifing will bring him back. it's sad, but true. and the worst part of it is she has had really nothing else to think about since march. nothing really has distracted her from it, not seeing friends, family, phone calls, nothing.

and here i am. crampy/bloated/feeling rotten. spending a week of hard-earned vacation with her. not exactly the most ideal situation given my physical circumstances, but i'll get through it.

i'm just hoping that she cheers up a little bit when we get out and do stuff. she perked up when she opened the gifts i brought -- cherry and pansy jams, saskatoon berry topping, mini canadian chocolate bars. and she seemed happier once she unloaded. maybe that's the whole deal. maybe she'll be better in the morning when she's well-rested…